Out Cold

A curious boxing story, pointed out to me by the ever-watchful Savage Hamster. It seems that our brave boys have had the diarrhoea kicked out of them by a little girl. In a battle royale of the kind not seen since Ken Airconditioningsystem hung up his gloves, Ashley Wolfe, twenty-four years-old and five foot three in her stockinged feet, cold-cocked a contingent of Coldstream Guards in Canada. As the Vancouver Sun puts it:

A petite Vancouver woman is being sought by an English court after wiping the floor with a collection of Britain’s premier soldiers...

Well, her floor must have been spotless by the end of that little lot. Not even Cilit Bang could clean up that well!
It seems the soldiers were making unwelcome advances, so she knocked a sergeant out “cold with one punch after pushing two other guardsmen to the floor.”

Woolwich magistrates have had the audacity to try this Mighty Atom over the incident in absentia, as though British courts still had any jurisdiction over events occurring in Canada... which ceased to be a colony of ours some good few years ago now, I believe. Though I dare say the army may be embarrassed at the outcome of the fight and want the wigs and gowns to take revenge for them. The tone of the Vancouver Sun article is such that I doubt the Canadian authorities are going to treat the call for an international arrest warrant any too seriously, though. Patriotic pride mixed with equal parts smirking humour come across strongly in the reporting, I would say. On the basis of this story, I think we would be well advised not to start any wars with Canada.

To see a dramatic, artist’s impression of the fight, click here:

http://www.metrokitty.com/blog_files/min_page.jpg

As Savage Hamster says, Rule Britannia!