¡Che! He’s a sexy boy, eh? A beardy beatnik in a beret who beat up Batista’s bastards. Who could fail to love him? Er, well, lots of people, actually. How about the thousands slung into jail for daring to criticise the vile, repressive regimes he helped put in power? The ones who were murdered outright, either by the Communists or by Che himself would not, of course, have been able to comment. But, hey, he’s got a sexy beard... eh? And great cheekbones. So, you forgive him, yeah?
No, I bloody don’t. All this Che adoration that’s coming out of the film world... arencha sick of it? I am. First The Motorcycle Diaries and now we’ve got another one - the first of a two parter, no less. How would we react to a major Hollywood film depicting the early life of Frederico Franco, I wonder. Well, he was very sexy too, when he was young, and - what a hero! - he liberated Spain from democracy and brought in a fine, enduring Fascist tyranny. Hurrah!
And how about Tristan, the life of thrusting, sexy German revolutionary Reinhardt ‘Hangman’ Heydrich, who stormed across Europe, spreading Nazism wherever he went. Just like Che, he cheerfully killed and tortured everyone who dared criticise his inspiring leader (in his case Adolf Hitler) or stood in the way of his glorious vision - a Nazi in every home! Cheer as he helps mastermind the Final Solution! Weep as his sexy, thrusting life is cut short by terrorists in the pay of those evil, dastardly Allies - Boo!
Can we not also look forward to Hendrik - the life of sexy, thrusting racist Dr Hendrik Verwoerd and his heroic struggle to establish Apartheid in South Africa, before he was cruelly gunned down by beastly supporters of (ugh!) democracy - ‘Boo’ and ‘Boo’ again!
I don’t see any difference between Nazism and Communism. Both were evil ideologies, both ordered the wholesale slaughter, torture, and oppression of millions, while raking in cash and corruption for their kleptomaniac tyrants. Che was a cold-blooded killer who wanted only to impose a foul, repressive dictatorship on the world. The dead cannot accuse him. We should not celebrate him.
Oh, and all you beardy beatniks out there who still love the blood-soaked Che Guevara, let me tell you a home-truth you won’t like. You only support revolution because you think that, if it came, you’d be at the captain’s table afterwards, yes? Because you were good Commies all along, right? Think again! The first thing a fresh tyrant always does - and must always do - is massacre the revolutionaries who put him in power. After all, if they could pull off one revolution successfully, they might be able to do it again and get rid of him! So you Che-ite nitwits out there would be first for the chop.
Mind you, speaking of biopics for prominent torturers, I’m still looking forward to seeing Forces Sweetheart: the Lynndie England Story. Come on, come on! Surely that’s got to get the green light soon?
(It also made me smile to see what you get if you go to www.che.com)
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Okay Commies, you've had your fun, but if you want to pollute the world with more filthy Commie propaganda, find a nice toilet wall (or, more appropriately a Berlin Wall) and scrawl on that instead. I thought it was amusing, though, to leave the hate mail up for a week or so just to demonstrate my point and show precisely what kind of people real, live Communists are... and they amply demonstrated it for me... but that's enough. I would sooner look at the clown paintings of John Wayne Gacy Jr than any words penned by a totalitarian tubthumper.
Of course, Commies hate democracy and free speech more than anything else in the world and ought therefore to admire my deciding to tear theirs down. Oh dear, all that hard "work" gone forever. None of the Holy Karl's surplus value there, eh?
Here's the thing. If you love thugs, gangsters, axe-murderers, mobsters, serial-killers and genocidal maniacs - in other words all the heroes and 'saints' of Communism - do not read this blog. It will upset you. A lot. And when it does, I will laugh at you!
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