Top of the Morning

A sign of the times? A bus-stop advertisement had broken down, such that only the top of one poster appeared at the bottom of the frame. “Top ur self” it read. That’s text-speak, of course. I knew that. But the message was a grim one. Has the credit crunch become that serious? “It’s hopeless, so why not do yourself in right now and get it over with?” What were they advertising? Futurama-style suicide booths? Or was it a public service, to push enough people over the edge so as to reduce the surplus population, as Ebeneezer Scrooge (and doubtless Gordon Brown) would have phrased it?
Then a man who had been standing in front of the display moved to the right and the whole slogan was revealed. “Top ur self up for £1.99”. It was for fried chicken. Great. But for a mad moment I had genuinely entertained the idea that a billboard advertising campaign might have started to encourage mass euthanasia. “Visit Switzerland! £65 (one way).” Of course, the cynical might have felt the fried chicken would do the same job in the end. Oh, sorry, that’s me that is - the cynical. I thought that too. Either way, as the drunken crazyman sitting next to me (where else?) on the bus put it later on, “We’re all going to the same place. We're all going to the same place.” Too right, Joe. Top up?